When I was younger I wanted to be famous. Like I was that kid that when you asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up I would confidently say “A singer and actress.” I was destined to be on the big screen and walk the red carpet.
I was all about it Then I started putting myself out there. And I started getting rejected. I remember going to an agency audition and them telling me “You really have something, but you just aren’t tall enough.” I remember my high school choir instructor telling me “You will always be a good choir member, but you aren’t a soloist.” (Not you Mrs. Beer, you were the best and I am still sad that you left while I was in high school….yes, I felt the need to enter that in here)
Those rejections took me years to get over. I believed them for, well, decades.
Regardless of the rejection I still started college as a theatre major. Honestly, looking back I can’t believe that’s the majority of college courses that I have. But I am so glad that I did. Because something happened in my last year in school at Huntington.
I decided to stop caring or worrying about the fear of rejection. I was cast as the mom from “The Monkey’s Paw” in a senior directed one act. And I had to cry…like a lot, like the gut wrenching, your child died kind of cry. And it made me soooo self conscious.
What if people thought I was being “too much.”
Yep, that’s when it all changed. When I finally realized that the fear of people thinking I was too much was actually what was holding me back.
If a mom wished for a large sum of money, and the way that her wish came true was her child being killed in a work accident and the company giving her a cash settlement (what happened in the one act I was in)….do you think that her response would be, well, I don’t want people to think I am overreacting and maybe I shouldn’t cry that hard.
Her wail would be heard by the whole world.
So I went all in and I put aside the fear that people would think it was too much.
And guess what, it was just the right amount of much.
And then I was cast as the “swimming mouse” in Alice and Wonderland. I was the first person that Alice met as she entered Wonderland. And the day that the costumer showed me what I would be wearing, I just about died. For the entire production I would be on stage in a retro swimming suit and swim cap. (Think Haley Mills in Parent Trap)
This was waaaay outside my comfort zone.
I had to make that decision again. Stand on stage being afraid of what everyone would think of me standing in a swimming suit pretending like I was a mouse who was pretending like she was swimming or just go for it.
You guessed it. I went for it. And it was SO fun! I loved the comments I got from people after the show saying that I really brought them into the world of Wonderland with the fact that this little mouse was all in. It wasn’t “too much,” it was just the right amount of much.
My past, my present and my potential future have me so excited about life. I have big dreams and big goals and I used to be afraid that people would think I was crazy for what they are and I am not afraid of that any longer.
Let me make sure you hear these two things.
You are perfectly you. And in being perfectly you, be you to the 10th degree. You are never too much. People may think I am too much, I am totally ok with that. Because I would say I am just the right amount of much. (can we make that a hashtag yet? #therightamountofmuch )
And dream big dreams, but keep your eyes open. Because sometimes our dreams actually come true in ways that we don’t expect them to.
I may not be a famous singer or actress but I could never have dreamed up the awesomeness that is my current life….and it’s because I followed my dreams that I ended up exactly where I am today. In a life that is better than my dreams.